The Back of My Brain

My Name is James Hammond. I'm from Castle Rock, WA. I write songs, And nobody cares about them.















I just can’t

This is why retail needs to pay more. Your choice America either pay your retail workers more or get busy educating your stupid people.


I used to work at Virgin Megastore. This guy called and asked me when we close. I said “1AM”. His response: “1AM in the morning? Or at night?” “……..1AM when it’s dark out, sir” -_-

I remember when I worked at Loews before it merged with AMC, some man came up to me while I was taking tickets and asked if we carried lumber. I would’ve laughed if I wasn’t on my feet all day fucking taking tickets in a vest and button down shirt across from the box office.

I was working box office at a theater and I had a guy ask when the 4:30 Spider-Man started. I had him repeat himself three times before he realized his error and said “ended”.

Now I work at a UPS Store where I get at least three people a day ask if I can ship a fedex package.

People are fucking dumb.

We used to have a motion activated announcement go off at our fitting rooms, telling people they could only take 6 items in at a time. One day, a lady came angrily up to the counter to tell me that she was very offended by it. My supervisor, who had been standing nearby, told her she was very sorry but it was for security purposes. She then told us it had insulted her and was being very rude. At that point, another customer went into one of the rooms, and the message sounded again, and so the woman began screaming obscenities at it and threatened that she was going to call the cops.

Long story short, we almost had a lady call the cops on a recording.

I wish I could think of some of the funny stories from working at Toys R Us, but I honestly can’t think of any of the good ones right now, which is a shame because I know I’ve had a good laugh with my HR about some incidents up there.

I work at a party store, where we have seasonal stuff right inside the door, on ~16ft-high shelves. I’ve had people walk in the door, come right up to the register, and ask if we have anything for *insert current holiday at the time*. I just have to smile and show them that if they turned 90° to the left, they’d see our whole aisle.

I’ve also had people take down displays that are filled with expired candy just to get a few pieces out, when the spot full of the same (non-expired, good-to-buy) stuff is literally two feet away from where they’re standing.

Oh, and I’ve had people ask if we put ribbon on the balloons when we blow them up, like we’d just fill them with helium and let them float away, with no easy way of getting them down. Right.

My additions (all I can think of for now because I’m tired):

- My grandmother once asked me “If I get a laptop, do you know if I’ll have to buy the keyboard separately?”

- A man came into our store (Farmers) and said that because he had payed on his Farmers Finance Card at a different store, we owed him loyalty points on his Farmers club card.

(via porcelaincookies)

(Source: benjiiwyatt, via porcelaincookies)



Small and miniature oil paintings by Jessica Gardner

how do I acquire one of these?!

(via porcelaincookies)


Tearing the sky… by meubzh on Flickr.


Tearing the sky… by meubzh on Flickr.

(via oix)


reblog for easter

(Source: videohall, via takeheartsweetheart)


alysha nett by asher moss for models in the morning 


alysha nett by asher moss for models in the morning 

(via siilkie)